50 Things the Black Woman Must Say When She Talks to Herself

“The world will knock you down plenty. You don’t need to be doing it to yourself”

Elizabeth Scott

Everyone is into affirmations these days, even me! I have affirmations on post it notes on my bedroom mirror. Some of them read, “I am enough,” “I trust myself,” and “I am worthy.” But these aren’t Affirmations. When I read the book, “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter, he explained that there is a difference between self-talk and affirmations and most people use the terms interchangeable. He explains that affirmations are usually “spiritually-oriented phrases, often general in nature, which affirms an overriding consciousness of unity and well-being.” Affirmations usually have a metaphysical, new age, feel to them. An example of an affirmation is, “I am one with all there is and all there is, is one with me.” What I have on my mirror are actually examples of positive self-talk, not affirmations. Positive self-talk is utilized to rewire the brain and discard the programming we received as children and presently perpetuate that keep us in a state of unhappiness, poor health, lack, and low self-esteem.

It is important that we become supremely conscious of the self-talk we engage in, discard the negative and self-sabotaging self-talk, and begin to have talks with ourselves that are uplifting, empowering and reflect our inherent truth. Nearly all of the things we say to ourselves are lies. “I’m ugly”, “I’m fat”, “I’m not good enough”, “I can never get this right”, “I am always tired”, “I can’t do that”, “how stupid of me”, “I’ll never be the size I was in high school”, “I’ll never fit into that dress”, “that color doesn’t look good on me”, “my nose is big”, “my hair is nappy”, “I’ll never find love”, and the list goes on and on and on! Positive self-talk replaces the bullshit lies we were told as children and adolescents that we continue to tell ourselves today. Here are 50 things Black women must say when they talk to themselves. Over time, you will rewire your brain and begin to see yourself in a new light.

1. Every day I am growing more beautiful and radiantly healthy
2. I am proud of myself
3. I love who I am
4. I am healing from my past hurts
5. I forgive myself
6. I trust myself and my intuition
7. I am enough
8. My worth is non-negotiable
9. I am at peace with who I am
10. I accept myself
11. I respect myself
12. I am the perfect size, at the perfect weight, with a banging body and a pretty face
13. I am energized and full of life
14. I deserve to rest
15. I give myself permission to be great
16. I listen to the wisdom of my womb
17. I enjoy life and laughter
18. I am filled with grateful for things great and small
19. I am proud to be Black
20. I am my ancestor’s wildest dream
21. I am filled with joy
22. I am safe
23. I flow through life with ease
24. I am magical
25. I owe myself the best
26. It’s ok to ask for help
27. I make peace with my past
28. I love the woman I’m becoming
29. I am open to the idea of love
30. I receive as easily as I give
31. I choose to live with an open heart
32. I take full responsibility for my healing
33. I am my priority
34. I am beautiful
35. I am free
36. I eat in a way that nourishes my body
37. I am loveable
38. I believe in myself
39. My physical features are stunning
40. I have what it takes to be great
41. Femininity is my strength
42. I am learning how to be better everyday
43. My health is the greatest wealth
44. I set myself free
45. I honor my truth
46. I accept full responsibility for my healing
47. The world is a better place because I’m alive
48. I will never shrink into boxes too small for me
49. I am brave
50. I make room for my healing

In addition to positive self-talk, make sure you grab my book, “The Black Girl’s Guide Radical Self-Love” to learn how to love yourself all the way through and feel the warmth of your very own sun.

Blessings,

Kathleen Nicole